Little Miss Mystery Muffett

My little Red Head came running down the stairs tonight,

RH: Daddy, Daddy, come quick! It's a spider emergency!

I wouldn't say DH sprinted off the sofa, but he did get up and follow her upstairs.

Then he came down...

DH: I don't think I'm Red's favorite person right now.
Me: Spider?
DH: I couldn't find it.
Me: Uh Oh
DH: She wanted to know how she could be sure the spider wouldn't eat her and I told her it would have to be as big as the house to eat her and that was just silly. Then she asked how she could know the spider wouldn't crawl on her and I told her that we couldn't possibly know that - she'd just have to be comfortable with it. It's part of living here on the Earth.
Me: Really, that didn't help her?

Next she came to talk to me and I told her all about how it was a house spider that ate mosquitos and she should be thrilled that it's in her room keeping her safe from bugs that DO bite - just like Suzy the Spider from our old house that she was so sad to leave.

RH: Mom, but Suzy just stayed in the cupboard and I talked to her when I went potty and stuff.
Me: Yeah... I remember
RH: But I see little orangey spiders all over the place outside - how do I know one of those won't get me.
Me: It's really only the brown ones you need to worry about.

Let's just say that the evening progressed to DH Googling Brown Recluse Spiders for her to prove that they don't live in Seattle with some pointed looks at me. Oops.

You should be happy to know the spider was eventually found, caught, and let out the front door so Red could get some sleep. Either DH or I would be happy to come talk to YOUR children about spiders if you're anxious for this kind of stellar parenting.