A few things

I've been a single mom all week, and half of last week, and half of the week before. I've shut down all auxillary systems and am only running life support. For me that means getting the oldest to school and back. Feeding the kids. Putting them to bed. Taking Boop to get her hair cut after she hacked half of it off with scissors. You know that reaction shot in cartoons, where the character drops his eyes to half mast and looks to the side. Calvin's dad is making it in the third frame. I make that look a lot.



Here are some of the things I've been fielding around home:

Boop: Mom, why do houses stand still but people move?


Later, I found her rolling a rolling pin* while I was making her nachos.
Boop: Look at this great rolling thing I found!
Me: That is what we use to make sugar cookies.
Boop: Great! Let's make cookies now to go with my hots?
Me: Your hots?
Boop: That's what I call cheese and chips, you know, because they're hot?


While eating lunch...
Boop: Can I have a refill of chocolate milk?
Me: In just a minute.
Boop: No! I need it now! I mean, I can't drink my cheese and chips, can I? Especially the chips- they're kind of hard, you know?

* rolling pin is a weird term. It's so weird that as I was typing it I thought, 'it can't really be called a rolling PIN. Why is it a pin? It's gotta be called something else and I just haven't had enough coffee to figure it out. But I googled "rolling pin" and that is indeed what it's called. Why? I have no idea.

Agents and babies (no, no big reveals inside)

Still working on revisions around here. Remember when I said I liked revising? Yeah, not so much. But I'll like it when I'm done and I'm over halfway.

I've noticed a new obsession with me. I've been obsessively reading stories about people who sign with agents - not in a way like I'm trying to will it to happen, or I won't be happy till it happens. I've lived enough to know there's always something, so be happy now or not at all. But it feels very much like when I was pregnant with my first baby and I was obsessively reading birth stories. Although that was a bit more macabre, because I focused in on the ones where things went horribly wrong so I'd be "prepared."

Then, I had my baby (after being sure for an entire month I'd be the only human being never to actually give birth and I'd stay pregnant forever) and then birth stories were not that interesting. Not even my own. And it wasn't an easy birth, but all that really mattered was that I survived (barely) and had a baby on the other end.

I suspect The Great Agent Hunt will feel the same on the other side. That I'll think "well of course I have an agent, the important thing is writing well" like published authors say. And I'll actually believe it. Just like now I absolutely believe pregnancy eventually ends, but try telling that to me at month nine!

And the thunderstorm just woke up my littlest guy - gotta go!

A lovely day for a walk

What does one do on a lovely fall morning, with bright sunlight and leaves all over the sidewalk, but take ones delightful young offspring on a walk.

And so it begins.

Soon after this, I found myself on the sidewalk pushing a double stroller with my not quite two year old standing on the back footpad and my four year old "riding" her three wheel Disney Princess stroller.

Yes, I did see bright sunlight and multicolored leaves. Here is what I heard:

Mom, wait, you are rushing me!
Mom, I don't want to go this slow.
Can I just hold the stroller while I go?
Can we walk in the street instead of the sidewalk? It looks easier.
Wait, I can't touch grass and there is grass in my path.
I think I should walk the scooter through the leaves.
If you don't hear my wheels - then STOP!
What did I tell you about my wheels? Do you remember?
I don't want to turn around yet, we just started!
Why are we going so slow? *
You can't hear my wheels, can you?
I just want to catch up with you, but you keep going too fast!
Do you remember the time my sister pushed me down and hurt me? **
MY WHEELS AREN'T TURNING!
I can't go any further.
I can't walk.
My legs are too tired.
HELP ME!

And that was when the scooter got slung over the back of the double stroller and Boop managed to drag herself the last 50 feet to our front door.

Welcome, fall, welcome.


*This is about the time Mystery Man decided to walk

**the one time her sister ever knocked her down was while she was riding her razor scooter and cut too close to Boop. Boop has tackled her at least 567 times, yet whenever we pass that particular corner, it is brought up again.

A couple quick things

Boop: Mom, I hate to tell you this, but the smell things are out of the bathroom and in the living room.
Me: Smell things?
Boop: You know, the things in the air that make it smell bad?
Me: Oh... I should change your brother...

Boop feeding her brother pumpkin pie:

I'm gonna let him have my spoon because he took a bite and I don't like his slime.

*Editorial note - my son is not slimy.

The Power of Suggestion

I am not a fan of mornings. The only good thing I can say about mornings is that I'm glad I didn't die in my sleep, although on some days, even that's iffy. The fact that I have to feed myself seems horribly inconvenient, and that I actually have to feed children is almost insurmountable. Yet they seem to avoid death by hunger, so I'm getting the job done.

This morning, around 9, I finally succombed to the the inevitable and got out the toaster. Hmm... no bread. It seems that at some point during yesterday's illness we ran out of bread. No matter, I pull out the frozen waffles - nothing like a good gluten free waffle. Hmm... none of those. I swear I got those the last grocery delivery, but maybe it was the one before that. Ok, fine, I'll just feed the kids waffles and turkey sausage and snag a link for myself.

I get them toasted, buttered, syruped, tell the kids to sit at the table. Boop says, "I alweady ate - wemember? Starbucks?" DH brought me a latte 2 hours ago and a doughnut for her. She should be hungry by now, but I can't convince her. Oh well. I go about feeding the other two. Wait - no forks. GAH! I didn't start the dishwasher last night. I go about washing forks.

"Do you not like washing forks?" Asks Red - "Well, we have a dishwasher for a reason..."

Now Red and Mystery Man have waffles, sausage *and* cutlery and can begin eating.

"I need milk!" says Boop.

"Ok, sit up at the table."

"Can I have some water?" asks Red.

So I get them drinks and Mystery Man looks at them and says, "Hmph argley bot goo!" Sure, I'll get him a drink, too.

All fed, watered, sitting nicely, I start the dishwasher, clean off the island, put the toaster away, which is when Boop says,

"But I don't have a waffle, yet?"

"You said you didn't want one."

"But now I am sitting here with an empty plate."

You'd better believe I made her finish that waffle.

Happy Halloween to you, too

Here is what it's like to have the stomach flu with three small children:

1) You wake up with a fever, nausea, and body aches and think 'wow, I have to trick or treat like this'
2) Your husband tells you he's going to take a shower and you think, 'I should tell him not to lock the door,' but it's a fleeting thought.
3) You realize you need the bathroom and FAST and it is, of course, locked.
4) You bang on the door and threaten your husband with anything you can think of, but he's so used to your four year old beating on the door that he doesn't even turn off the shower.
5) You find another bathroom, and FAST.
6) You crawl back into bed and announce you'll be staying there for a while.
7) A little mystery man tackles you saying, "Mama, mama, mama" every so often.
8) The same little mystery man opens the blinds, letting the sun shine directly on your head. Of course Seattle has sun as this particular moment. It will later rain relentlessly for trick or treating.
9) Your four year old comes in, hands you a bra, tennis shoes, and your husband's jeans and tells you it's time to get up.
10) You think about giving up on life entirely, which is hilarious, because the kids are still gonna want food and you can't live with yourself if you don't vacuum every day and you really are still driving for the field trip to the planetarium on Monday.
11) The mystery man comes in and turns on the radio on your clock radio to Sugarland singing It Happens and you think you will make this your theme song for the day.

Judging a book by it's cover

First of all, I'd like to say that I caught nothing on fire today, including myself. From here on out that's my benchmark for it being a good day. I'll say nothing of the sinus infection that makes me wish I could detach my head in favor of a newer model. At least my head's not on fire.

But the real subject of the post is cover art. Someone in some comment trail once upon a time said something like "No one actually buys a book because of the cover, do they?" Um, yes. I do. All the time. The latest book in my Amazon cart:
Dani Noir, by Nova Ren Suma. It's MG, but not a voice that my 8 year old is ready for, so this is all for me. And when I turned to the first page and saw "What Would Rita Hayworth Do?" I was completely sold.












Other books I've picked up based on cover art:
Shamus in The Green Room











Folly du Jour



I'm sensing a theme here with lamplight...