Has Robin's Monday improved?

You tell me.

Exhibit A: It is 102 degrees.

Exhibit B: DH made a little bit of a mess. Which he promptly began to clean up. He ended up getting out the vacuum and I asked him to just go the distance and do the whole living room. I had not yet vacuumed and I reference Exhibit A for the reason.

Mystery Man LOVES to vacuum. And by vacuum, I really mean chase you and try to turn off the beater bar, ride the canister part like a horse, get in your way and just stand there, or unplug it every 30 seconds and bring you the cord. Fun times.

So, there he was, standing in it's way with a sly grin, daring Daddy to vacuum his toes. So Daddy pretended to get his toes. Oh so silly. Ha. Ha.

Then Daddy pretended to get Mommy. Oh so funny. Except he still had the beater bar on. And I had a tank top on. And the vacuum attacked my arm. I think he thought I was mugging for Mystery Man with the first shriek, but eventually figured it out and shut it off. We're talking split seconds here, but long enough for MM to panic and cry because Mommy was getting eaten by the vacuum and long enough for me to become even less pleased with my day.

DH is wisely at Target with the girls right now.

Here's to Tuesday.

And now it's Monday

It's already 70 degrees at 8:17 and it's going to be 94.

Mystery Man can't sleep in the heat, either at night, or in the morning.

Mystery Mama can't sleep when Mystery Man is awake.

The ipod's whereabouts are still a closely guarded secret by Mystery Man.

I'm going to have to go room by room, and clean and declutter everything to find Podzilla, my beloved ipod.

This is difficult in 94 degree weather, upstairs, with windows facing the afternoon sun.

I'm not sure the cup is looking any more full than it looked yesterday.

My day thus far

Mystery Man went to bed last night at 8.
Mystery Man woke up at 10:30.
Mystery Man stayed up till about 2am - this involved a lot of lying in his bed next to me kicking things with his feet. I think he was too hot.
Mystery Man woke up for good at 6:30.
Mystery Man brought my ipod and in a sleep deprived state I told him to put it back.
Now I can't find it.
I asked Mystery Man if he knew where it was. He looked down his shirt and said, "Uh huh."
It's too hot.
I'm headed to church where Mystery Man won't stay in the nursery and I won't be able to distract him during service with videos of Megan Joy on my ipod, because I don't know where he put it.

I could be seeing all of this glass half empty because it's 10:16am and I haven't had coffee yet, but it's too hot for hot coffee and at 10:30 I'm heading to Starbucks. Maybe things will magically improve at that point.

Stay tuned...

Balance of Power With a Wink and a Smile

Back in the day, and by day I mean pre 1960's and the sexual revelotion, back at least into regency times and maybe Biblical times, men used to ask women out or pursue women to some degree. They stopped for the most part before I was born and we had dances in high school where girls asked guys and for the other dances people often went in groups or as friends. Lots of hanging out as friends as college - and maybe you all can weigh in and tell me if this is just a Christian school phenomenon or life in general. I couldn't say.

But what I can say is back in the day when men were pursuing women with intention, it typically went that the men asked and the women said yes or no. Veto power if you will.

Of course, women couldn't live like this, so we did things to encourage the men or dissuade them. And those that could take social cues were appropriately encouraged or dissuaded and those who were too dull were cast aside anyway.

We call this flirting. Some have said it's a langauge. The girl touches his arm. He knows then that it's ok to lean closer and does. She turns her head, he pulls back - like a series of signals. Others have called it a dance with a series of orchestrated moves. I think it's more instinctual than that. A woman touches a man's arm and if he's attracted to her he's compelled involuntarily to move closer. She turns aside and he feels the cold breeze and pulls back. He can't help it.

Some women were exceptionally good at this. Otherworldly good. The myth of the Siren didn't come out of nowhere and you can't tell me that Helen of Troy simply had a pretty face. She knew how to use it.

My concern is that now there's a backlash against women taking the lead in relationships. Girls don't want to have to ask boys out. I've heard lots of friends say they're looking for a real man. A leader. Somebody that can plan dinner and a movie and maybe brave rejection to ask a girl for her phone number. But unless we learn these lost arts again, the balance of power is sunk. And women looking for an alpha male are at the mercy of the man's decision, or whim, or women who know how to speak this language and dance this dance and like to collect men for themselves.

I'm not sure what to make of this yet, but I'm thinking about it and the implications for my girls. I'm not saying I'm sending my kids to charm school, but so long as I'm teaching them philosophy and history and science and math and apologetics and logic, I'm not sure I shouldn't teach them a few lost arts as well.

Public Service Announcement from Past Robin

Starbucks is giving away a free pastry with a morning coffee tomorrow to everyone on the planet while supplies last. This is one of those things that makes me realize how different my life is as a stay at home mom of three than as a working stiff. Back in the day of commuting and grabbing food on the go this would have made my week. I'd have been chirping about this, planning for this, and been totally giddy waking up tomorrow, realizing I'd get a free pastry. Not because I'm a big bargain hunter, but it would feel like a hand of friendship, an affirmation, like that cute guy in History class sharing his notes with you. Just lovely. And I could plan, guilt free, on not making breakfast for myself. Ah, the old days.

Nowadays, I still hit Starbucks with great regularity, but almost never get pastries because of the whole gluten free curse, and because I generally have to buy for a carfull so we have a rule: either drinks, or food, never both. I'm not made of money, am I?!

So, working stiffs, enjoy your free pastry tomorrow!

Various quotes from Miss Betty Boop

Through the eyes of a three year old today:

Just before bed...

"My energy is slowing down. I don't like that. I like my energy to be high, not low. It's because of all the running around I did today." She then started walking in slo mo.

"I am going to see the sunset with just me and Grandpa one day! Just me and Grandpa! But not this day. And if anyone else would like to come, you are welcome to join us."
With a big hug for mommy.

Me: Do you mind going to Old Navy with me?
BB: Oh no, Old Navy is my special place. I love going there.

And walking into Old Navy while smoothing her little honey brown bob...
BB: It is important to make sure we don't go out with our hair looking messy for other people to see. I am trying to keep my hair nice. But the wind keeps messing it up.

Little Miss Mystery Muffett

My little Red Head came running down the stairs tonight,

RH: Daddy, Daddy, come quick! It's a spider emergency!

I wouldn't say DH sprinted off the sofa, but he did get up and follow her upstairs.

Then he came down...

DH: I don't think I'm Red's favorite person right now.
Me: Spider?
DH: I couldn't find it.
Me: Uh Oh
DH: She wanted to know how she could be sure the spider wouldn't eat her and I told her it would have to be as big as the house to eat her and that was just silly. Then she asked how she could know the spider wouldn't crawl on her and I told her that we couldn't possibly know that - she'd just have to be comfortable with it. It's part of living here on the Earth.
Me: Really, that didn't help her?

Next she came to talk to me and I told her all about how it was a house spider that ate mosquitos and she should be thrilled that it's in her room keeping her safe from bugs that DO bite - just like Suzy the Spider from our old house that she was so sad to leave.

RH: Mom, but Suzy just stayed in the cupboard and I talked to her when I went potty and stuff.
Me: Yeah... I remember
RH: But I see little orangey spiders all over the place outside - how do I know one of those won't get me.
Me: It's really only the brown ones you need to worry about.

Let's just say that the evening progressed to DH Googling Brown Recluse Spiders for her to prove that they don't live in Seattle with some pointed looks at me. Oops.

You should be happy to know the spider was eventually found, caught, and let out the front door so Red could get some sleep. Either DH or I would be happy to come talk to YOUR children about spiders if you're anxious for this kind of stellar parenting.

SYTYCD Spoilers

You've been warned - spoilers are to follow!

I love to know who's dancing with whom ahead of time, so today I'm passing on the love. Enjoy!

General spoilers:
- Laurie Ann Gibson to choreograph hip-hop/jazz. Potentially a Lady Gaga song.
- Travis Wall is doing a group number.

New couples:
Melissa and Ade
Janette and Evan
Kayla and Jason
Jeanine and Brandon

And yes, I'm thrilled to death that Evan has Janette - I hope they get something fun and sparkly!

And the morale of the story is...

Last night, I did something I never do - I loaded the kids in the car and went to the grocery store. Yes, I, the safeway.com addict, actually visited a physical grocery store with little people. I was motivated by the need to feed people something for dinner and Safeway can only move so fast.

While there, my Betty Boop found a can of Elmo tomato soup and begged effectively enough to add it to the cart. Then I threw in a few more soups and realized - soup for dinner! Bwa ha ha! So easy! Kids love it! No clean up!

Once home with my soup loot, I started fixing the Elmo soup that I knew Boop wouldn't actually eat, but Mystery Man did - with his whole body.

Then I opened soup for Red, except - oops - wrong can. She's not quite ready for Tom Kka Gai. So I just set it on the island next to the spicy chicken sausage soup I had for DH.

Enter DH. I start to tell him, "We're having soup for dinner and you can either have the spicy chicken sausage or the thai, but you should know..."

Did he let me finish his sentence? No. He grabbed the Thai soup in his jaunty way, flipped it into the air with a flick of his wrist, sending it spinning above his head and creating a thin spray of coconut curry soup all over his face, head, and body.

DH: Well, since I already smell like this one, I'll go with Thai.

I was laughing almost too hard to point out that he should always let me finish my sentence.

To which he replied, "You could have led with 'The Thai soup is open'"

But how fun would that have been?

Wherein I discuss breakfast with Red, Boop, and the Bear

Me: OK, go make your beds and get dressed while I make some cinnaomon toast.
BB: But my bear wants scrambled eggs.
Me: Your bear?
BB: Yes, he wants five.
Me: Five real scrambled eggs, or pretend ones?
BB: Real ones.

At this point my ever thoughtful red head turns to me and says...

RH: Don't worry mom, if he doesn't eat them, I will.
Me: If the bear doesn't eat the eggs?
RH: Yeah.
Me: Do we really think the bear's going to eat the eggs?
RH: Umm.....

The Apocalypse Begins... and it's furry

Red head: I just came down because the cat's kinda freaking me out.
Me: What's she doing?
RH: Sitting by my head
Me: Well, move her and shut the door.
RH: Uh, ok, it's just, well, I kinda think she might be turning into a zombie.
Me: No, the cat is not a zombie, go to bed.
RH: So... you haven't seen her dead recently?

Staycation Update

DH is taking some time off work and we are staycationing. This is because they don't make hotel rooms big enough to VAcation with a 3 and 1.5 year old. I speak from experience. Nor do I love road trips with these ages. So, we've done movies and pedicures, the zoo, the aquarium, the really big park that they love, 4th of July fireworks and BBQ and some chill time.

Right now, I have 2 sleeping kids at 5:48 which means the rest of my night is toast, but I'm enjoying the peace at the moment.

Some things I've learned:

1) eating out with little ones is more work than making dinner. After making dinner virtually every day for the last year and a half (because before that I was pregnant and we did a whole lot of thai takeout) I forget this, then I think - hey, it's staycation, let's go to Azteca. No. Just don't. Take it from me.

2) places like zoos, with big wide paths that you can see down for a long ways are much better for little mystery men who like to run than enclosed spaces like aquariums with lots of displays that hide his little red head. He likes to lift his hand in a dismissive sort of salute, then take off. I think I need those shoes with wheels in them - do they make them for moms? They should make motorized ones for moms.

3) if a mystery man takes out his binky and rubs it in the dirt at the zoo, and you pour lemonade on it to wash it off, and he likes it, but doesn't actually see the pouring of the lemonade, he will rub his binky in the dirt again, then stick it in his mouth hoping for that lemony fresh taste - which is not the same as the taste of mud. I'm still trying to figure out how to disinfect his entire mouth.

4) otters might be the cutest animals ever created

5) results show tonight. Evan and Randi had a rough week. I tried to vote till 11:30 last night and couldn't get through. I am nervous.

Betty Boop on Babies

My 3 year old Miss Boop was musing today about when she'd be a grown up. I told her she had about 15 years to go, but that she shouldn't be in any big hurry. Grownups had lots to do and kids got to watch tv, and play outside, and get a lot of sleep, to which she said...

BB: Yes, but grownups also get to tuck their little babies in at night and take such good care of them! That's wonderful!
Me: You're right, hon, that's the best thing in the world.
BB: Can you believe some people don't even *want* to have babies? That's just cwazy!
Me: Well, yeah, I always wanted babies.
BB: When I grow up, can I have as many babies as I want?
Me: Sure (thinking she's about to say 500 or something crazy like her big sister would say - her sister who assumes I'll babysit them all while she goes on digs in Egypt. And I'm sure I will. And she will.)
BB: Good. I want two.
Me: Two? A boy and a girl?
BB: No. A girl and another girl. I only want two because they have to fit in the back of my Beetle Bug car.
Me: Oh, well, that's a good number.
BB: And I get to make the decision about the color and it will be pink. Do they make them in pink?
Me: For you, I'm sure they do.