on changing the sheets and other things...

It's late. The kids are finally all in bed and asleep (with the possible exception of my oldest who I just caught trying to read by the light of the stairwell because she can't stop thinking about stable flies and how they want to rip off her skin and suck her blood. What are these man eating flies?! I have no idea.)

But I digress... they are asleep-ish and I remember I want to change the sheets on my bed. DH is travelling, so it's just me and the little mystery man in his little mysterious bassinnet in my room. And I wonder to myself if I can change the sheets without waking his little self up. I hesitate. I really want to change the sheets because the current sheet is too big and scoots whenever I roll over, which is frequent because my two year old inevitably wanders into my room and lays practically on top of me on my right side, and I still have night time feedings for the little one on my left side, to keep them apart, and then I end up wedged upright on my side like a quarter - and if you saw the Twilight Zone where the guy flips a coin and it lands on it's side, thus propelling him into the Twilight Zone, you know this is no bueno.

Then I think, of course I can change the sheets and remake the entire bed and make less noise than my DH makes just walking in the room and lying down. No problem. And I wonder, why is that? What makes men so LOUD? Or is it just my particular man? Are other men loud? I can hear him coming from, well, anywhere, because he's LOUD. Without even talking. His very presence is loud. And I'm not complaining, I like a big, bold presence, except when I've just gotten my 3 month old to sleep in the room where his presence is bellowing.

The most ironic part is that it's my DH's favorite thing ever to sneak up on me and try to make me jump. I think he's succeeded at this twice in 10 years, but it keeps him trying! Gotta love that work ethic! Once he hid in the coat closet for 20 minutes waiting for me to open it. That's some serious dedication. It could be because I, without meaning to, sneak up on him and startle him to great comedic affect all the time. He keeps suggesting a cat collar with a bell for. I can't help it. I'm female and feline, apparently, and thus have mastered the art of quietly entering a room.

So the other night, I'm walking downstairs, toward him, I think. Then I realize he's not there. Furthermore I realize I'm absolutely right in thinking he was to the right of the stairs - but the stairs descend into the middle of a big open floor plan, and I wonder - is he creeping around the stairs trying to sneak up on me? So I walk around the stairs and what do I see? But this:

Of course, I literally cannot stand upright I'm laughing so hard at my husband in full on sneak mode, which makes him jump, wish for the bell collar once again, and laugh hysterically.

Oh how I miss him on travel days!
Now I'm off to finish changing those sheets...


Cheri said...

You are hysterical. I don't know how you speak the absolute truth and are still so funny.

April 9, 2008 at 6:50 AM

Post a Comment