I am not a fan of mornings. The only good thing I can say about mornings is that I'm glad I didn't die in my sleep, although on some days, even that's iffy. The fact that I have to feed myself seems horribly inconvenient, and that I actually have to feed children is almost insurmountable. Yet they seem to avoid death by hunger, so I'm getting the job done.
This morning, around 9, I finally succombed to the the inevitable and got out the toaster. Hmm... no bread. It seems that at some point during yesterday's illness we ran out of bread. No matter, I pull out the frozen waffles - nothing like a good gluten free waffle. Hmm... none of those. I swear I got those the last grocery delivery, but maybe it was the one before that. Ok, fine, I'll just feed the kids waffles and turkey sausage and snag a link for myself.
I get them toasted, buttered, syruped, tell the kids to sit at the table. Boop says, "I alweady ate - wemember? Starbucks?" DH brought me a latte 2 hours ago and a doughnut for her. She should be hungry by now, but I can't convince her. Oh well. I go about feeding the other two. Wait - no forks. GAH! I didn't start the dishwasher last night. I go about washing forks.
"Do you not like washing forks?" Asks Red - "Well, we have a dishwasher for a reason..."
Now Red and Mystery Man have waffles, sausage *and* cutlery and can begin eating.
"I need milk!" says Boop.
"Ok, sit up at the table."
"Can I have some water?" asks Red.
So I get them drinks and Mystery Man looks at them and says, "Hmph argley bot goo!" Sure, I'll get him a drink, too.
All fed, watered, sitting nicely, I start the dishwasher, clean off the island, put the toaster away, which is when Boop says,
"But I don't have a waffle, yet?"
"You said you didn't want one."
"But now I am sitting here with an empty plate."
You'd better believe I made her finish that waffle.
Spotlight: Pipeliner by Shawn Hartje
1 day ago