My kids were playing out in the backyard while my dad was pruning things. Then, Red comes running in.
Red: Grandpa's bleeding!
Me: Does he want a Band aid?
Red: No, he's gonna get one when he comes in.
DH: Ok, did you drink his blood?
Red: EWW! No!!
DH: Because it's perfectly OK to drink a relative's blood.
Red: I am NOT drinking his blood!
DH: Here, do you want some of mine?
ME: Hey - you're gonna traumatize the kids
DH: They'll grow up traumatized anyway, it might as well be over something funny.
Boop, oblivious to the tableau she's interrupted streaks through the house: I'm not going back outside till Grandpa stops bleeding!!
Excerpt: The Second Jezebel by Peter Mowbray
2 days ago