Why my older daughter will move very far away to college

Overheard while sitting under the plum tree:

Boop: I am winning the world record in plum eating today!
Red: Last night she was winning the world record in pushing
Boop: Yep! I did!
Red: You can imagine how much I enjoyed that...

Then, I was sitting here peacefully obsessing over my Facebook farm, when Red came in from outdoors - soaked.

Me: Red, you're soaking wet, what happened!
Red: Well... I got a little dirty from playing. Then Boop said, 'just come here and let me wash that one spot off...'