I wrote like 353 words today. Pathetic, but something. Flu has been here all week, tormenting myself and my children. I now personify flu, like Joe Black, but not as cute as Brad Pitt. I think Flu looks more like Seth Rogan.
Despite my weight loss goals, I thought that I might not make it through the evening without chocolate cake. Why, I do not know. I think my body realized it hadn't had refined sugar in days and panicked. Oh wait, I stole some cinammon toast from my kids this morning - well, for whatever reason, it was dire, so my DH ventured forth and returned with chocolate cake slain just for me.
In his honor, I present this snippet. Note - he does not read my blog. *evil grin*
We were all headed home from the park, and saw a guy standing on the corner with a sign. Not a panhandler, this crazy direct marketing thing people are doing where they put some dope on the corner with a sign for mattresses on sale or something. Like that's an impulse purchase, or my personal favorite, two dudes dressed as the Statue of Liberty. No sign. My mom and I thought maybe they were for Taco Time and they were just bad cactus costumes,but a few days later I noticed the Liberty Income Tax place squished into the side of the autobody building. They could have used a sign, like this guy. He had this big arrow placard - probably 5 feet long and two feet high and he was spinning it like he was on drill team - up in the air, behind his back, twirling, twirling, twirling. So, I pointed it out to my DH, who said...
"Wow, that's impressive, but you know what would be really impressive? Is if he pulled his pants down and caught it in his butt. Then I'd totally go see whatever that sign is pointing to."
I just looked at him. With the look. You know what I mean, ladies. He looked appropriatly chagrined, then my daughter said,
"How would he do that? Would he just squeeze his butt cheeks together really hard?"
"Um," my DH started, "Why don't we just pretend that Daddy is a better daddy than he really is and he never said that."
Now I have cake.
Spotlight: Pipeliner by Shawn Hartje
1 day ago