It's not a victory, Helen

I'm a basically nice person. I try not to rant. I've got a little snark in me, it's true, but I mostly try to look at the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. And I especially try to say nice things on the internet. But, I have my limits.

To paraphrase Lorelai Gilmore, the minute that stick turns pink, you become a grown up. And a grown up means you take responsibility for the lives you create. No matter how old you are or what your circumstances, no matter what you have to overcome or who you were before you got pregnant. When you have a baby, you're a mom, and a mom lays her life down for her kids. Every day. And I don't mean she throws herself in front of a train, though if that's what it took to shove her kid out of the way, absolutely.

I mean, if there's not enough food, the kid eats first. If there's not enough money, the kid gets the clothing budget and the mom can find $1 tees at Old Navy. If there's not enough time, the mom doesn't sleep so the house gets clean, the homework gets put away, the kids get fed. It's what you do.

I don't get how, after carrying a human being inside your body for nine months and then enduring labor (or going through a harrowing adoption procedure for maybe much longer than that), after changing diapers, making bottles, getting vaccinations, checking hot foreheads, running your kid to the doctor in the middle of the night in case that really is wheezing you hear - after all THAT...

How do you say, "No, I'll stay on the Biggest Loser campus, you go home."

And after you find out your kid was in bed with depression for days after she sacrificed herself for YOU which is totally backward, how you don't turn into a puddle of remorse. And after THAT how you don't say, "I'm taking this knowledge home with me and we're getting thin together. She's gonna be healthy." How does every sentence out of your mouth start with I. I deserve, I believe, I want, I need... I could finish a bunch of those sentences for her.

You know what, as a parent, you deserve - well, nothing, I hate that word. But, you believe in your kids, you believe you'll never be a good enough parent, you believe you've been blessed beyond measure, you want the best for them, you need them to live healthy, productive lives. The Tongans want to teach their community, Mike wants to help his brother, Tara wants to help anyone who'll listen to her. That sentiment never came out of Helen's mouth and she's got a daughter who fell on her sword for her.

She could learn a thing or two, from Ron.

And I'm writing this, banking on her having a Google alert on her name so maybe one day she'll see that somebody thinks it's not all about her, and she's not all that for winning. She should fall down on her knees and beg that kid to forgive her 'cause who should have been teaching her about nutrition all along? There are no excuses once that stick turns pink.


(In stark contrast, Mikey gave his free grocies for a year to Aubrey.)